Sometimes, Anime isn't as bad as what most people think.

Most people in our society think that animes are bad for us because they see it as a childish type of cartoon, or not its because they despise the way otakus and weaboos are doing. Like keeping anime figurines, clothings, wall scrolls, posters and even bedsheets. Well, to me, i feel that its ok. A hardcore fan of famous people do it too, so why cant anime fans do it too?

Most people say anime are childish or senseless. I couldn't disagree more. Why? Animes are split into different genres. Like we have on our movies; action, kids, romance, slice of life, NC16, R21. Its the same. Just that its animated and there are no real actors. So just because its animated means its childish? In fact, there are more anime shows that tells us about our lives and emotional stories than i see in real life tv shows. And i really like watching those. They portray the lives of different individuals and how each one of them have their own past and how are they living their lives to get though hardships. I don't see this often in tv shows.

I know there are alot of obsessed people about anime and more like cosplaying or people "marrying" an anime character. So what? Just let them do it. If there are girl and girl, guy and guy, why not let everyone have their own freedom and let them do as they please. It does not affect you the slightest.

I quote that i got from an anime that has the genre "Slice of Life" in it;

"These might be the happiest times of our lives,
  The past makes you want to die out with regrets,
  The future makes you depressed out of anxiety,
  So by elimination, the present is likely to be the happiest time."

Memories.... Memories.... Memories....

Seems like it has been slightly more than a year since my last post.

Currently, i am about to ORD from my NS life in another few days time. 12th of June to be exact. Usually every would be happy, excited or dying to finish/ORD from NS. However, for some reason or another, i do not feel happy. People might think i am crazy or something. "NS is just like a torture place to you, everything you do is wrong and even if you are right, you will get punished! How can you like that kind of life! You are crazy!" - These are probably what most people would be thinking.

After my NS life, i am forced to work with all my pay going to my parents. And then go to a university and study where i have to study in fear that if i do not get good results, my parents will mistreat me worst than they are doing it now. Technically, what most people are saying about NS isnt wrong. But it seems like NS is the only way i can escape and take shelter from. Monday to Friday in camp, 3 meals provided everyday; work life is just following orders like an idiot, just do as you are told; basically i wont be at home often. The only downside is that i have no access to my computer to play games. Which is why i somehow feel NS might actually be better for me.

Well, at the same time, NS life has not been good for me too. There were alot of ups and downs while some got pretty bad too. I made a lot of friends whom i call "brothers" as we do stupid things together, get punished together and everyday was like a fun day to us, all for one and one for all; we basically go through hell together. At the same time, there are those who only seek to take advantage of others and will not hesitate to sabotage their close friends. My superior always liked me alot as a was efficient, hard working and would not mind going through shit to get things done properly. I am the kind of person who likes to help others and hate to see things not done properly or left half-done. For some reason, i just love to help others. Why? Maybe it was because i just wanted people to like me and ask me for help when they really are in need of it. There was this guy in my workplace who always asked me for help and always claimed credits for what i have done. To me, i do not mind that as i do not like to be in the spotlight of my superiors, i just want to help others, get things done right and finish the job assigned to me. Basically, i do not want trouble; and that is just satisfying for me already. However, he claim credits for my job and sabotaged me by telling my superior that i have been slacking off and he had to take over my job and do it; when i was the one who was doing both his and my jobs. I got punished pretty badly and got scolded by almost every single day of my life for something i did not do at all. Well, this is life in NS. Soon, i could not take it any longer and almost wanted to commit suicide. Obviously i didnt, or not how can a ghost be typing this post...

I got some help from other superiors and eventually i calmed down. But life did not get better. I knew my helpfulness would only cause me trouble and getting taken advantage of. But i still do not understand - "I only wanted to help, go ahead and take the credit from me, i just ask of you to say a simple thank you; your acknowledgement of my help and thanking me is more than enough and i would feel happy from that. It would also motivate me to help more people in the future." Sadly, in this ugly yet beautiful world, there must definitely be people like this to make up for all the happiness that others have. Everything must be even, when there is good, there will definitely be bad. Life works like that... At least now i know why we cant hope for too much...

Under the innocent sky, we have no wings...

Hmmm, so long since i have visited by own blog. I thought it was already closed when i couldn't search for it. LOL =.='''

Anyways, Im currently serving NS as a Driver trainee. Yes im a chao keng recruit but ohh well i OOCed from BMT because everyone thought i had stroke when i fell out from speed training due to chest pain and then i had hyper-ventilation which caused my whole body to be numb and i couldn't move my body. And everyone thought i had stroke >_> so my MO asked me to see a cardiologist to be safe. And i got OOC from BMT because of that. Well i have no intentions of going back to recourse. 

Currently as of now, i am attending SAF driving course for Class 3 and 4 license. I got to say that it is not easy at all to get a license in SAF. Its so easy to fail and the max points you can accumulate is 10 points compared to the civilian license which is 18 points? I just completed my parking test today and im guessing i have 1 more week till my driving test? I do hope i can pass quickly so i can return to unit to help out as there is a lack of available drivers. 

Wierd uh? A chao keng recruit wanting to help his unit or is so actively participating in army. I am a stay out personnel but still, i chose to stay in. Honestly, i really don't know why i am being so helpful to everyone. Well, to the point where people took advantage of my help. I just cannot resist to do work and help people around. When i am free, i find things to do. Worst is i am in the army! Normally, people would say, who the hell would be so siao on in the army. Plus even i decline my encik's or staff sergeant's off when they want to give me off, i would just take it and stay in camp and still help out. I really feel im abnormal. Maybe that is just my personality? I really like playing computer games and watching anime still as usual. 

Ok im still gonna post something SUPER wierd here even though i know its really really damn stupid. As most of my secondary school mates may know, i like this girl called Geraldine from my class. For some reason, ( I really swear i don't know why!) i still think of her sometimes. Plus i have no interest in other girls even though they are better or what so ever... 

I bet no one knows about these facts about me...

1. I have been physically abused by my parents all the time

2. My parents favor my sister over me and would give me minimal money to survive, my sister the otherwise.

3. All my work money/internship pay/army pay goes to my parents.

4. I am illegally "working" outside to help myself survive for my anime figurines, food and etc.

5. I was always bullied ( Taken advantaged of ) all the time because of my crazy helpfulness personality.

6. I was physically bullied in secondary school because i like Geraldine. The bullies will sometimes wait for me outside school to bring me out of school to somewhere deserted and wack me up. This was the reason why i started learning how to play the piano and would not go home till late in the evening. (Definitely no one knows about this, including my best friend in secondary school)

7. I most probably have gone through the worst of some people's life. Having to stay outside my house because i was kicked out of the house for hitting my mum after she provoked me, well i was a fucking idiot that time. I had to stay at the park with no shelter. I slept in the rain and it was freezing cold. Drenched, cold and all alone.... I thought of suicide... I had to beg my friend's parents to spare me a loaf of bread. Survived for close to a week outside before my sister brought me back to the house. Didn't bath, only had 1 loaf of bread, survived on toilet water. Well definitely some people are living like that so i cannot say much, like life is unfair.

Still, i have no idea why i am still posting all these nonsense... Well, maybe for my past reading >_>

To random desu!

Well, i see u do view my blog even when its almost dead. Thank You. Truth is, my blog's kinda like my 'public' diary (public cus ppl can see it! HAHA!). I write whatever i think or feel. Yep i changed from chaos to fading. Lets just say... Things change. I bet almost no one can tell tat i was an anime fan when i was in sec sch. Cus i didnt really think much abt cosplay, figurines and anime related stuff. Well, truth is, i was just hiding my feelings to the world. Maybe it was because i had too little pocketmoney tat time and tat i was 'caged' at home most of the time cus of O levels. So ChaosDestiny tat time meant tat my destiny was in chaos. Now i changed it to fading. Why? Because all the chaos are gone. Isnt tat good? Nope. Cus it jus comes bak to u in another form. I dont really wanna say why now, guess its not the right time yet. So tats why my destiny is fading. Destiny to me means choosing the different choices to walk down the path of my life. I cant really change my destiny unless i already know what would happen which is impossible. However now, i have very little/difficult choices of me to choose. Tats why i saw my destiny is fading. Well tat doesnt mean my life is ending though. Im not so scary to tat extent.

Hmm hope tat answers yr question, Random! And sorry for the super late almost 1 month reply.

Anyway another thing abt my sis. Im really concerned abt her in Serangoon JC. My sis knows i like Geraldine so she keeps saying to mi " hey, i saw Geraldine in sch!" lolz. Ok tats not the point. My sis miraculously made it though O levels. Somehow she didnt really study ( to the point where she only study 1 day before the paper) and managed to get a reasonable point to satisfy my parents. Tats how she got into SRJC. Hmm, anyway, she have been having the same attitude as wad she did during O levels ( as in dont study and will some how manage to pass). But it fails badly to the point where she got lower than a 50/100 for all her subjects. If im not wrong, lower than 50 in JC is somehow still a grade so yeh i cant say fail... But ya she didnt do well at all. My mum was very very angry and hired so many tutors for her. However, she didnt study at all. And now she keeps complaining tat her paper is very hard. I told her it was her fault for not studying but she counters bak by saying tat her classmates will also fail the paper. And she doesnt seem concerned or sad tat she might retain for another year. This also affects mi as my mum would blame me for not encouraging my sis to study and scold mi for tat. She couldnt even make my sis to study and she blames me for not being able to? How does this make sense? Ohh well, my sis is the very rebellious type who would go all out to argue wif my parents. And im the total opposite so called coward to some ppl who would avoid a arguement. Hmm i feel troubled because of this. Somehow i feel this is not worth saying out... No one can help/ do a thing anyway...

After so long....

Hmmm.... It has already been so long since i updated my blog... Anyway no-one sees it except mii. Anyway Monday is my Microcontroller Technology exam and i haven really been studying hard. Then there comes Thursday with my electrical fundamentals paper which i kinda failed my term test and friday is my electronic fundamentals and systems. After that is a long holiday! Yay! Still watching animes and playing card game called CHAos (character operating system) an anime card game and pre-ordering anime figures for my own collection. Also currently playing MapleSEA(hacking) and dragon nest( a cooler 3D game than runescape). Awating for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, Mass Effect 3, Assassin's Creed Revelations and maybe H.A.W.X 3(if there is).

Running out of time...!

Tmr's my maths 2 paper and i still have not really touched on it... E-device is on tuesday and i kinda forgot alo9t abt the front parts. D-Fund is on wednesday and im still not sure abt the last few chapters. Basic Aerodyanamics is on Thursday and i haven even touched the book... Looks like im really gonna suffer this time if i dun chiong faster to study which i pray i can...

Best Gundam Cinematic Trailer

New Life in Poly...

Hmm... Tmr's my Air Law exam and i still dun really much confidence... Guess i focused too much on animes and lesser on studies. Anyway, i am now more into animes... Well, i usually focus on animes with genres like," Slice of Life, Romance, Haerem, comedies and well... ecchi? There are really a few animes i've watched and wanna share=)

Slice of Life and romance - Myself;Yourself , Clannad, Kanon(2006), Air, Angel Beats(must watch)

Comedies - Baka no Test, Seitokai Yakuindomo, Seto no Hayanome

There are still others like Sora no Otoshimono, Infinite Stratos, Kore Wa Zombie Desu Ka?, Code Geass, Zero no Tsukaima and many more!

Well, most of you seeing my blog would be from Yuying 4A, so u guys will be like," urg! Melvin watch anime? ok...? So wad man..." I feel that watching anime sometimes really help u know more about your life and you will tend to treasure it better like the genre ' Slice of Life'. It really did help mi think better. Thats why i really wanna share these with you guys. Please do leave a comment on the chatbox if u wanna talk to mi abt animes or what u think abt animes.